Disability and Attraction

I love seeing images of disabled people celebrating their bodies and enjoying them as physical, sexual things.

Disabled bodies can be wonky, scarred, assortedly non-standard and let us down but they are ours and we deserve to be able to enjoy them when we can. This can be difficult in a world where bodies like ours are seen as ‘other’ and even offensive. Over the last few years the ‘democratisation’ of publishing through things like blogs, image sharing sites and social media has meant that disabled people have been able to tell their stories more freely with less editorial intervention.

I’ve done it myself. I started taking pictures of myself then putting them online and learning to appreciate the ‘good’ bits and ‘bad’ bits. To see myself from a different angle and to be honest about my body and that I can and do enjoy it. It’s very hard to not use the word ‘despite’ here. The idea of disabled people doing ‘normal’ things despite their disability is so woven into the culture I grew up and live in, that it’s difficult for me even as a disabled person to articulate some things without falling into those patterns of thought. My disability is entwined throughout all I am and my identity as I was born with it. It has shaped every aspect of my life. I’m sexual and enjoy my sexuality as much because of my disability as despite it

I have two friends, both disabled, who have also found this gateway back into their bodies and sexualities. One has fairly recently become disabled and one has been disabled all their life. The one who recently became disabled felt that she wasn’t who she had been and needed to regain some of that sense of self. The other had always been in touch with her sexuality and body and had sucessful relationships but when the menopause hit, she lost this connection. By creating images and then sharing them they have reconnected with their bodies and sexuality in a way that they probably would not have any other way. To see the change is wonderful. They are at different stages in the journey and it’s one they are planning to continue.

This is something we need to normalize. Disabled people should be as open and proud about their bodies as they want to be. The image of a nude disabled person should be just like any other nude image in a culture. I’m glad to say there are a few people with a range of disabilities starting to make that happen.