I had some fairly significant news over the summer. Investigation into a small infection revealed a serious problem that resulted in losing my right leg below the knee in October.
I lost my left leg below the knee in Deccember 1999 and over the years had become used to how I looked without it. Over the last few years I’ve got more and more comfortable with my body and started to recognise that some people did find it attractive. With the news about the upcoming surgery I did wonder how I’d feel with the new configuration. I was also concerned about how I’d manage physically once out of hospital as where I live isn’t the most accessible house.
The surgery was incredible. Care was excellent and pain management was perfect. I was in as good a head space as possible and had gone into the process determined to make the best of it. One of the things that I planned to use to help me get used to the reconfigured me was to take photographs. I’d used taking photos as a way of appreciating myself from a different perspective than just seeing myself in the mirror. I also shared them on line as it was useful seing how other people see me
I took this one three days after surgery as I wanted to both capture the journey and also see myself as a photographic subject very early on as part of the process of getting used to things. Taken very early in the morning on a deserted ward, it felt an important part of the process.
Recovery took a while, complicated by a thumb injury which needed surgery and effectively made me bed-bound for five weeks. During this time I ate far too much of the wrong stuff and put on weight. I had a spell around Christmas where I didn’t like myself that much at all but I kept on plodding on.
Then I went back to work and started physio as part of getting ready for new legs. This gave me a boost of energy and the ability to refocus. The additional exercise and eating more sensibly also helped me feel more ‘back to normal’. This week I decided to take a couple of nudes to see how far I’ve come and I was pleasantly suprised by the finished article. Taken while showering they showed me as I am now without any additions. The me in the images is someone I’m confortable being and has given me the nudge to carry on taking images and celebrating who I am and what I look like.
Wonky Bloke Thoughts 