One of the things that often affects disabled people is body image issues. There are very few positive, sexy representations of disabled bodies in the media so most of us grow up seeing ourselves as ‘other’.
Of course, I can only speak from my own perspective as a white cis disabled male, and I would expect the issues to be far more complex for others.
I’ve always been comfortable being naked for a few reasons.
Going naked liberates me from some of the paraphernalia of disability; bags, callipers, odd fitting clothing due to a wonky body.
As I was born with my disability and had lots of surgery and the tests that go with it, I’ve been having to be naked or semi-naked for the medics for as long as I can remember. As my case is often ‘interesting’ it’s not unusual to be asked to allow medical students in too. While this can sometimes feel invasive, it’s surprising how quickly you adapt to it as a norm and just get on with things as if you were dressed. To be fair to the medical professions, they have always done their best to maintain my dignity. Sometimes I’ve been happy to forgo this if it makes things faster and easier for me and them.
When I was due to go to secondary school, the only viable option where I could get accessible education and still take exams was to go to boarding school about 40 miles from home. The school went co-educational the year I started, and the accommodation was, understandably, single sex. In my time there I was on dormitories of seven, six, a couple of fours, a double and finally a single for my sixth form years. The bathrooms were all shared and two baths and two showers in a bathroom weren’t unusual so there was effectively no privacy. As a result, you got used to being seen naked and seeing others naked. The nature of some of the other kids’ disabilities meant they needed assistance with dressing and bathing so there were always staff around as well.
While I was perfectly happy being naked, I was never happy with what I saw when I was. I never thought of my body as anything desirable, something people would find sexually attractive. I always saw the scars, the wonkiness, the appliances as well as the ‘normal’ issues with build and weight. Once digital and phone cameras came along, I was happy sharing nudes with partners but never really enjoyed looking at them and did wonder why people said yes to them.
Then I came across the NSFW community on Twitter and was lucky enough to encounter some wonderful people. Their warmth, acceptance and kind genuine comment on the images I shared helped me see that I was physically desirable, and my body was something to be proud of and enjoyed as much as anyone else’s. It gave me some pride which helped me to exercise a little more which reinforced the change in my perspective regarding myself. What it has taught me is that often we aren’t the best judge of how we look. We look for the things we dislike, the things we’d like to change to fit closer to that media led ‘norm’ often subconsciously. Better media representation of a range of bodies as normal and desirable would be wonderful and help so many people.
Wonky Bloke Thoughts 